Our House Assisted Living Blog

Tips to Prevent Wandering!

Posted by nate on April 28, 2011  |  No Comments

First off, let your loved one go outside when at all possible, in good weather and when supervision is available. Go outside with them and let them experience new things.

Try these approaches:

- Remove from site triggers that would make them think of going out, such as coats, umbrellas, shoes, purse, etc…

- Tell them where they are and why, in a calm tone of voice. Reassure them with words like, “_____ will return in an hour to be with you” or “Your family knows where you are”.

- Don’t confront or argue with the person, walk with them and redirect to another part of the house or to an activity. Use humor if possible.

- Purchase childproof doorknob covers, or deadbolts to put on the door above eye level, slide bolts on the top or bottom of the door. These items should never be used when they are alone in the home, only when someone is with them.

-  Place warning bells above the outside doors, setup a house alarm system, monitors that go on (such as a toddler monitor) or a pressure mat alarm, so at least you know when they left the house.

- Try putting a full-length mirror on the inside of the outside door. Sometimes people don’t recognize themselves and think someone is standing there and turn around and go back.

- Try putting a black throw rug in front of the outside door. To some people, it looks like a hole in the floor and that they won’t attempt to cross it.

- You might try to hide the outside door by putting a curtain in front of it, that way it may not be seen.

- Put a big sign on the outside door saying “Stop” or “Do Not Enter” or “Danger- Do not Open”

- Sew ID labels in clothes, or get a special Medic alert bracelet.  Also, have a current picture and a piece of unwashed clothes (for tracking dogs) handy to give to the police, in case they wander out.

- If  your loved one doesn’t recognize his or her home, they may want to leave to go “Home”. They may be thinking of a home they lived in previously, such as in their childhood. Instead of telling them that this is their home, talk about the home they are thinking of.  Reminiscing about it sometimes lessens their urge to leave.

- If they still want to go “home” tell them you will walk with them, and take a walk with them or tell them that you will drive them there, and take them out for a drive. It may help if you stop to get a treat, an ice cream cone, or snack. They probably will have forgotten about the other home by the time you get back, and may even recognize where they live now as home.

A Few Tax Tips for the Elderly

Posted by nate on April 18, 2011  |  1 Comment

By PATRICK EGAN – Original Article from the New York Times

With the tax-filing deadline bearing down, many of us are wrestling with financial issues particular to elder care. Opportunities to lower tax bills abound, thank goodness, but the details are often complicated or confusing — and most seniors can’t afford to leave money on the table. Here are a few details to keep in mind this year.

Medical ExpensesDeducting one’s medical expenses isn’t technically difficult. But younger taxpayers rarely get the deduction because allowable expenses must exceed 7.5 percent of adjusted gross income before any benefit kicks in. Seniors, though, typically live on lower fixed incomes while incurring far greater medical costs.

In addition to insurance premiums and prescription drug bills, elderly taxpayers may also be able to deduct the costs of wheelchairs, dentures, premiums for long-term care insurance and many other items. The Internal Revenue Service spells out the details at its Web site.

Medical care, “especially if someone’s paying for a nursing home themselves, can be ridiculously expensive,” said Joy Child, a tax partner with Alexander, Aronson, Finning and Company in Westborough, Mass. The bright side? “Those costs can completely wipe out a person’s income tax liability,” she said. Senior housing facilities often report the medical portion of a resident’s total bill for tax purposes, she noted.

Hiring In-Home CareA tax reporting challenge may arise when families hire home care for an elderly parent. Many families find assistance through an agency, but some choose to deal directly with an aide. In such a situation, the home care aide might legally be an employee, not just an independent contractor.

How to tell the difference? “If they only work for you, and you control what hours they come in, they’re really your employee,” said Ms. Child.

What are the consequences? The senior or the family, depending on who pays the bill, must withhold income taxes and payroll taxes — the employee’s contribution to Social Security and Medicare — while make a matching contribution, as well as file quarterly and annual returns.

To the extent that a home care aide provides nursing services — dispensing medication, bathing and grooming, and so on — their costs qualify as deductible medical expenses.

Senior Credits, Deductions and Nontaxable Income
A credit for the elderly: Adults 65 and older may qualify for a special credit as long as their incomes don’t exceed certain thresholds, which vary by filing status. Learn more at the I.R.S. Web site.
Increased standard deductions: Seniors who don’t itemize their deductions receive an additional $1,100 to $1,400 for their standard deduction, depending on filing status.

Taxable Social Security: Seniors who receive significant income beyond Social Security — pensions, wages, taxable and nontaxable investment income — may find that some of their Social Security is taxable. To figure out how much, the I.R.S. provides a worksheet.

State real estate tax credits: Many states offer home-owning seniors a partial rebate of their real estate taxes. Check with the applicable state taxation departments.

Free Help With TaxesSeniors can get help figuring out their taxes from the AARP Foundation, which sponsors Tax-Aide, a free tax preparation service for people 60 and older.

About 35,000 volunteers at the organization prepared 2.6 million tax returns in 2010 at thousands of locations across the country. The I.R.S. provides the software, allowing preparers to file electronic federal and state returns free of charge.

“I have a big prejudice against people having to pay to get a tax return done,” said Roger Ditman, 69, volunteer site director at St. Margaret’s House in Lower Manhattan. Mr. Ditman, a retired I.R.S. enforcement officer, reviews about 250 returns prepared at the housing complex.

Tax-Aide staffers decline overly complicated returns to keep the process moving. Most clients are in and out within an hour.

The Conversation StarterFamily conversations about money rarely unspool smoothly. Parents often don’t want their children meddling in their finances, and adult children don’t always care to know how much their parents have or what they’re doing with it.

But discussions about the financial well-being of aging parents are necessary. Now is an excellent time to open the dialogue — and perhaps that’s the only upside to this trying annual rite.

“Tax season is a natural opening to start having these conversations,” said Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, a consultant in Easton, Mass., who works with financial advisers to improve communication with their clients. “People can feel a greater sense of control after the conversation, even when they’ve given up responsibility, because there’s less uncertainty.”

Money is an emotionally fraught issue, and not just for seniors. Those who wish to help them do wise not to rush the process. Lyndell Kelly, a money manager for seniors in Palo Alto, Calif., summed up her approach: “Go slowly, step by step, and reassure.”

Older drivers: 7 tips for driver safety

Posted by nate on April 15, 2011  |  No Comments

Article from: 7 tips for driver safety

Driving can sometimes be challenging for older adults. Follow these safety tips for older drivers, from taking good care of yourself to planning ahead and updating your skills.
By Mayo Clinic staffDriver safety requires more than understanding road signs and traffic laws. As you get older, you’ll likely notice physical changes that can make certain actions — such as turning your head to look for oncoming traffic or driving at night — more challenging. Still, older drivers can remain safe on the road. Consider seven tips for older drivers.

No. 1: Stay physically active
Staying physically active improves your strength and flexibility. In turn, physical activity can improve driver safety by making it easier to turn the steering wheel, look over your shoulder and make other movements while driving and parking. Look for ways to include physical activity in your daily routine. Walking is a great choice for many people. Stretching and strength training exercises are helpful for older drivers, too. If you’ve been sedentary, get your doctor’s OK before increasing your activity level.

No. 2: Schedule regular vision and hearing tests
Senses such as hearing and vision tend to decline with age. Impaired hearing can be a concern for older drivers by limiting the ability to hear an approaching emergency vehicle or train. And common age-related vision problems — such as cataracts, glaucoma and macular degeneration — can make it difficult to see clearly or drive at night.
Ask your doctor how often to schedule vision and hearing tests. Even if you think your hearing and vision are fine, stick to your doctor’s recommended exam schedule. Problems may be easier to correct if caught early.

No. 3: Manage any chronic conditions
Work with your doctor to manage any chronic conditions — especially those that might impact driver safety, such as diabetes or seizures. Follow your doctor’s instructions for managing your condition and staying safe behind the wheel. This might include adjusting your treatment plan or restricting your driving.
Of course, it’s equally important to know your medications. Many drugs can affect driver safety, even when you’re feeling fine. Read your medication labels so that you know what to expect from each one. Don’t drive if you’ve taken medication that causes drowsiness or dizziness. If you’re concerned about side effects or the impact on driver safety, consult your doctor.

No. 4: Understand your limitations
Consider your physical limitations and make any necessary adjustments. For example, if your hands hurt when gripping the steering wheel, use a steering wheel cover that makes holding and turning the wheel more comfortable. You might ask your doctor for a referral to an occupational therapist, who can offer assistive devices to help you drive or suggest specific exercises to help you overcome your limitations.
You might also adjust your vehicle or choose a different vehicle to better meet your needs. For example, many older drivers find it easier to step into and out of a bigger car. Vehicles that feature larger, easier-to-read dials on the dashboard are often popular with older drivers. Features such as large mirrors and power windows and door locks can be helpful, too.

No. 5: Drive under optimal conditions
You can improve driver safety by driving during the daytime, in good weather, on quiet roads and in familiar areas. Plan your route to avoid rush-hour traffic. Delay your trip if the visibility is poor. Beyond road conditions, make sure you’re in optimal condition to drive. Don’t drive if you’re tired or angry — and never drive after drinking alcohol.

No. 6: Plan ahead
When you get in your vehicle, be prepared to drive. Plan your route ahead of time so that you don’t find yourself trying to read a map or printed directions while driving. If you use a GPS device, enter your destination before you start driving. If necessary, call ahead for directions or major landmarks, such as water towers, schools or other prominent buildings. While you’re driving, don’t do anything that takes your focus from the road — such as eating, using a cell phone or adjusting the radio.

No. 7: Update your driving skills
Consider taking a refresher course for older drivers. Updating your driving skills might even earn you a discount on your car insurance, depending on your policy. Look for courses through a community education program or local organizations that serve older adults.
In addition, know when it’s time to consider other alternatives. If you become confused while you’re driving or you’re concerned about your ability to drive safely — or loved ones or others have expressed concern — it might be best to stop driving. Consider taking the bus, using a van service, hiring a driver or taking advantage of other local transportation options. Giving up your car keys doesn’t need to end your independence. Instead, consider it a way to keep yourself and others safe on the road.

The Art of Compassionate Communication for Elder Caregivers

Posted by nate on April 13, 2011  |  No Comments

By: Jill Sarah Moscowitz
Taken from this Article in “Todays Care Giver”

“No one can ever be fully prepared for the challenges of care-giving. The tasks and responsibilities involved can be demanding, even more so when caregivers themselves are frail, have been thrust into their role unexpectedly or reluctantly, or must care for someone who is uncooperative or combative.” – The Merck Manual of Health and Healing
Caregivers can face overwhelming physical, financial, and emotional demands as a function of their service. In the face of these challenges, communication can sometimes be difficult. This article presents techniques for compassionate communication, as well as ideas for caregiver self-care and empowerment.

Communication is a process that allows a cyclical exchange of information through speaking and listening. However, as we all know, communicating is not as simple as that. Effective communication requires clarity from the person who is speaking and openness and attention from the person who is listening. This takes great commitment.

And to be compassionate, the communication should touch the heart. Compassionate communication can be understood through a breathing exercise. Put a hand on your heart; this is the center of compassionate communications. Notice your state of well-being. Imagine your whole being is entirely cared for. Take a breath in, and imagine this as a listening breath. Allow the breath to be touched by your heart, to be oxygenated and returned out. As you breathe out, imagine this as a speaking breath. And so is the cycle of breath and communication – incoming breath – touched by heart – and out going breath.
Compassionate communication includes 1) awareness of our state of well-being, 2) speaking with clarity, and 3) listening with openness and attention.
1) Awareness. Compassionate communication begins with an awareness of your own well being because when we focus on our well-being we create a space for the well-being of others around us. We create a space for authentic listening and speaking.
Identify Needs and Values. To create a dialogue of compassion, become familiar with your needs, values, expectations, and motivations. How did the role of caregiver come to you? Was it out of choice, obligation or circumstance? Does this role fulfill an underlying need or value to give or to feel appreciated? What other needs or values may be present for you? Perhaps there may be the need or value for connection, sense of purpose, or financial security. Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. describes a list of “universal needs and values” that all humans share. To become familiar with this list visit http://www.cnvc.org/needs.htm.

Options for Meeting Needs and Values. Once you’ve identified some of your core needs and values, you can evaluate how you might have these needs met. It’s possible that your needs are met through care giving. It’s possible that you hope or expect these needs to be met through care giving, but they are not. Clarify for yourself what your expectations and motivations are and then determine what is realistic for this relationship. Use the “here and now” in your determination, rather than remembering how things were at one time or how you wish things to be. Consider all of the ways your needs and values can be met, including but not limited to this relationship.
2) Speaking with Clarity. We all have many years of experience in speaking, but may not have skills in expressing ourselves with clarity. Here are some suggestions:
Use “I” statements. Probably the easiest tip for compassionate communications is to use “I” statements. These statements begin with the word “I” and they clearly express something about our own view, not something about the other person. For example “I am finding it hard to believe what you are saying” Notice the difference between the “I” statement and the following “You” statement. “You are lying!” When we start sentences with the word “You” we tend to put the other person on the defensive.
Use observations, not evaluations. An observation is a statement of fact, similar to what might be recorded on a video camera. For example, the statement “Aunt Ann has been talking on the phone for one hour”. An evaluation is a statement of fact with an added value (a judgment of good or bad). The statement “Aunt Ann talks too much on the phone” is an evaluation.

Speak Authentically. There are times when we choose to protect those we love from the truth about our feelings. We are the best judges of the impact of such non-disclosures. It’s possible that when we choose not to share our feelings, an opportunity for distance not closeness is created. Although it may feel very risky, the loving and heart-centered sharing of your feelings may be a beginning to more open communications. Sharing of feelings could begin with a sentence like “When you said [insert the Observation], I felt [insert the feeling].” See Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D, (http://www.cnvc.org/nvc.htm) for more tools for authentic speaking.

Know many realities exist. If a group of five people go to the same movie and each is asked the question “what happened in the movie”, we would get five each different stories. Each person’s story is based on the unique backdrop of each person’s perceptions. Many times our perceptions are based on our values or experiences. Remember, your reality belongs to you. Another person’s reality belongs to them. Neither reality is “right” or “wrong.” We simply perceive and interpret things based on our own values.
3) Listening with Openness and Attention. Many communication breakdowns occur because of difficulties in listening.
Waiting is not Listening. So often in our conversations we are “waiting to speak” while the other person is talking. We are formulating our ideas in response to what is being said. We become engaged in our own thoughts and their importance. Anxiously waiting for the other person to stop talking, we find that we are not listening.

Avoid Unspoken Stories. Another pitfall in listening is when we interpret rather than listen. While the other person is speaking, we create a story about what is being said. For example, a simple statement like “I think you look very nice today” can be incorrectly interpreted to mean, “Today, unlike any other day, you look very nice.” So, you can see how easy it is to create your own a story about someone’s communication.

Active Listening. Listening is truly an art. It is a skill that can be acquired. One way to practice this skill is through active listening. Active listening is a technique in which the person listening re-states his or her understanding of what the speaker has said, before introducing their response to what has been said. For example; “What I heard you say is …,” followed by “Does that sound about right?

Reframe Hostile or Difficult Communications. It’s possible that the person you are caring for may speak to you in anger. It may be helpful to consider that their anger may be due to their own frustrations, and not about you. For example, “You are no good! You never help me!” This statement might be reframed: “What I hear you saying is that you are wanting help and it feels like I am not helping now. Is that what you meant to say?” In hostile or difficult communications, it is sometimes helpful to involve a third neutral person to help with this type of communication.
At the very heart of compassionate communication is our desire to be collaborative in our communications – to hold a balance between our needs and the needs of the other. This is particularly important for caregivers who are so often looking after the needs of the other.

FUN DANCING!

Posted by nate on April 7, 2011  |  No Comments

CLOSE TO HOME ASSISTED LIVING - Myrna dancing with Penny!

A BIG 100 CELEBRATION!

Posted by nate on April 5, 2011  |  No Comments

We have a Centennial in our middest at our Tremonton House. We are calibrating Maude’s 100th Birthday… CONGRATULATIONS MAUDE!!!